The Kickstarter for the Dickshark re-edits was the most successful crowdfunder in the history of Bill Zebub. In fact, so much money was raised that Bill Zebub considered remaking the movie. However, the surplus funds are going toward new gear that will improve the new movies that will be made so that Kickstarters for those projects can go toward specific expenses per film.
There will be three new cuts. One will be for streaming which has to remove some of the graphic nudity (because American adults like to be treated like children, and also because they only see nudity as dirty, or they fear nudity because of religious superstition). Unfortunately, these weak-minded and socially-retarded people complain very loudly, which causes digital merchants to refuse certain content unless it’s from a major studio or from a director who is revered as an artist. But this censorship has been interpreted as a challenge for Bill Zebub to make a retard-friendly cut.
There will also be a streamlined cut that will remove much of the material that isn’t tied to the main story. Bill Zebub wrote the script outside of commercial rules. Instead of being plot-oriented, the dialogue was character-oriented. If a story is about Johnny trying to raise tomatoes, dialogue in commercial movies must relate to that struggle. Bill Zebub’s version of such a story would have a character talk about why a fruit is called an “orange” and how it was a lazy and uninspired nomenclature. The rant has nothing to do with the struggle of raising tomatoes or the gopher that takes big bites of the fruit, but the dialogue shows that the character is either neurotic or deep thinker, neither mindset affecting the cultivation of tomatoes. The waxing-poetic dialogue of the original Dickshark will be mostly removed so that the story becomes more of the focus, even though Bill Zebub wanted each character in the script to have a different view of life, and the movie was ultimately about life.
The prize for the ultrafan is the longest possible cut. It might be close to six hours.
If possible, the three cuts will have different performances, which is possible because there were multiple takes per shot, as with most of Bill Zebub’s movies.
Bill Zebub was at a horror convention in Kentucky. He met a lot of people who had never heard of him but who were eager to take a chance on his movies. He also met long-time fans who had never seen him in person. DICKSHARKwas the best-seller of the weekend, although the person who ran the convention asked that the shirt NOT be sold. Despite telling her that the movie is sold at walmart.com, the organizer still made the stupid decision to remove the shirt. This is what happens when people act on “tribal knowledge” rather than reality. Parents did not freak out when their kids approached the table. Most of them said things like, “You will love this when you are ten years older” and similar things, which showed that horror fans make great parents. The other unpleasant factor was that the night life was in a venue that was open to the public. This always ruins the community feeling. It has never worked at any convention that comingles normies with indie movie fans. Despite those two negative things, the horror fans made the trip more than worth it.
Bill Zebub is hard at work developing several scripts. He is also going to laiunch a Kickstarter for the ultimate DICKSHARK Bluray in a week or two.
There were several anthologies planned, but fans have requested that certain movies be presented in their own Bluray. RAPE IS A CIRCLE and BREAKING HER WILL were going to be re-edited for a two-pack, but they will be separate titles, each with their own generous portion of behind-the-scenes. The METAL COMEDIES will be presented as one big anthology, with maybe five movies on one Bluray. Rather than cite all possible re-edits (for Bluray), suffice it to say that many are being considered. Kickstarter campaigns will decide what lives and what dies.
You can Email firstname.lastname@example.org with your opinions. Do not be afraid to be honest.
As a last bit of news, Bill Zebub is angry about the level of religious oppression, specifically in Shitland (his word for Texas). This is why he is developing a script tentatively titled “Jesus was an Asshole.” The tagline might be “Just kidding. Jesus never existed.”
The disc will feature the LONGEST cut, which might exceed 6 hours, and it will also contain the most streamlined cut, which might be only 80 minutes.
A huge amount of behind-the-scenes will also be available for the first time.
There will be a Kickstarter for it, which will have an opportunity to have a bonus assortment of behind-the-scenes on 1-3 BD-Rs, with 2-12 hours of content never to be available again. There will also be hoodies, shirts, mugs, but most importantly, a picture book of the same superb quality as MOVIE MAKER AND MADMAN, with each picture being a full page (between 200-400 pages).
Fans of Misty Mundae, Lydia Lael (Lydia Vengeance), Scarlett Storm, Chrissy Lynn, and myriad other starlets will be extremely happy with all of the extras.
If you want to be notified of the crowdfunded, Email email@example.com
Bill Zebub has a new radio show which airs on Sunday nights from Midngiht- 4am. Technically these are Monday nights, but who really perceives time that way?
You can stream live at KNON.org or you can tune in to 89.3 FM if you are in the Dallas area. If you have some weak excuse for not tuning in live, you have up to two weeks to hear the archived show, unless you come up with a weak excuse for not even doing that.